Funerals are changing, becoming more personal and less formal. An emerging theme is the growing number of families choosing to be involved with their loved one’s funeral.
Some families decide to arrange the funeral together. Young children can decorate the coffin with pictures or paintings; older children can choose the flowers or may want to read a poem. If your loved one planned their own funeral, they may have said how they wanted their family to participate.
Family-led elements help a funeral become a personalised celebration of a loved one’s life. For many people, taking part offers comfort while creating special memories. Family members of all ages can be involved.
Ideas for family participation
- Eulogies and readings. Writing and delivering heartfelt stories, poems or passages make a funeral service feel truly personal.
- Music choices. Music is one of the most customised aspects of the funeral service. This can involve live performances or playlists of your loved one’s favourite songs.
- Photo displays or montages. These can be shown during the service and/or the wake.
- Symbolic acts. Lighting candles, scattering petals or planting a tree are thoughtful options that can be straightforward to introduce.
- Decorating the coffin or service venue. Adding flowers from a family garden, handwritten notes, or artwork connected to the person’s life offers a truly personalised touch that any family member can help with.
- DIY floral tributes. Displays can be assembled by family members. If the deceased person was a keen gardener, perhaps include flowers from their garden?
- Themed farewells. Celebrating a person’s favourite colour or sports team is a popular option that everyone can join in with.
Growing trends
Memory tables are becoming increasingly popular. They enable people attending the funeral to write messages or contribute keepsakes. Personal items such as photos, medals or hobby items such as gardening tools or sports trophies can be displayed. This is something all family members can be involved with.
Some people request to witness the cremation or even push the button that begins the process. (This is an established tradition in some religions, including Hinduism.)
An established graveside tradition is sprinkling soil over the coffin. Some family members ask to take part in digging the grave.
Getting involved
If you have queries about involving family in the funeral planning process or the funeral itself, please contact one of the friendly team at Austin’s. We are happy to offer advice based on our experience, helping you as well as any family members involved.
