The festive season is often a time of socialising and parties. However, if you’re grieving, it can be a hard, emotional time. Invitations and gatherings can cause pressure and sadness, even when offered with kindness and intended as support.
The Austin’s Funeral Directors team understands how Christmas can bring feelings of isolation, anxiety and overwhelm. We’ve helped many mourning families during the Christmas period. Here are our tips for navigating the festive season when you’re grieving.
How to deal with loss during the festive season
1. What feels right for you?
You don’t have to accept every invitation. Plan ahead and choose what you feel you can handle. You might attend just part of an event, join for a meal but skip the festivities, or decline invitations entirely this year. Give yourself permission to do what feels safe and manageable for you.
Some people find it helps to plan early how (or if) they’ll mark the holidays. Cruse Bereavement Support says: ‘It’s important to give yourself permission to feel however you feel, no emotion is wrong.’ The charity encourages grieving people to make choices that safeguard their wellbeing, rather than trying to meet others’ expectations.
2. You can say “no”— with kindness
If declining invitations feels hard, a simple, honest note or conversation can help. You don’t need to justify yourself. For example: “Thank you so much for thinking of me — I’m taking some time this year and won’t be at the get-together. I really appreciate the invite.” Perhaps you could suggest a low-pressure alternative for later on, such as a coffee or a walk in
3. You don’t have to face grief alone
You are not alone, even if it feels like everyone else is full of festive cheer. There are organisations and community groups that offer understanding and acceptance:
- Cruse Bereavement Support operates a national helpline (0808 808 1677) and local branches for one-to-one or group support.
- Charities such as Hope Again provide support specifically tailored for younger people.
- If you are struggling with grief, the Sue Ryder Online Community is a place to share experiences, get things off your chest, ask questions and chat to people who understand.
- Consider talking therapies to discuss your grief and feelings in a safe place.
4. Talk … or don’t
If you feel able, reach out to friends or family you trust. Let them know you might need understanding space, or simply a listening ear. Sometimes the hardest thing is letting others know what you really need.
Alternatively, if you’d rather not talk about it, that’s absolutely fine. Grief is individual and changeable. Some people find comfort in routine, fresh air or distraction rather than emotional conversations. It’s important to allow yourself whatever you need, without guilt
5. Look after your wellbeing
The festive season can bring a different dynamic and routine. Being gentle with yourself matters. If you do attend events, consider having an exit plan: leave when it becomes too much, take a quiet break or arrange to come home early.
Accessing local, community support for grief
Community is extremely important to Austin’s. We’ve been helping bereaved families across Herts for over 300 years.
Our supportive team can offer details of local bereavement groups. At our head office in Stevenage High Street, you are welcome to visit our Grief Support Lending Library (we’ll guide you through the selection).
During this festive season, call in to hang a memory of your loved one(s) on our Memory Tree. No appointment is needed and we’ll provide the wooden heart to write on and place on the tree.
Grieving during the festive season is hard. Support is available if you’d like it. We’re here to help.
