Here are some ideas for remembering a loved one on special occasions:

1. Reflection – lighting a candle, treasuring memories (with others or on your own) or arranging a religious service can provide an opportunity to quietly remember your loved one.
2. Celebrate! As hard as it can be, some people find it helpful to turn a potentially sad occasion into a happy one. This especially helps if your loved one loved life and enjoyed a celebration.
3. Plants – some people buy a plant on each anniversary … one that reminds them of their loved one. It stays with them at home and reminds them of the person who’s died. Others like to plant a tree to commemorate a loved one’s birthday.
4. Take on a challenge! Some people enjoy walking, others like to volunteer … doing something different and outside your home can help you cope with special occasions.
5. Do something your loved one enjoyed, such as eating their favourite food, visiting their favourite places, or watching a film or play they enjoyed.
6. Cards to remember – some people gain comfort from keeping the last birthday or Christmas card they received from their loved one and displaying it each year, keeping them a part of the day.
7. Create a keepsake – making something like a quilt or teddy bear from your loved one’s favourite clothes can be a comfort all year and particularly on special occasions.

Everyone is different and it’s important to acknowledge how you feel. Some people like the comfort of keeping their traditions on special occasions, such as Christmas. Others prefer to create new ways of celebrating. Some people don’t observe the first Christmas without their loved one. There is no right or wrong choice.

Lastly, remember that it’s ok to treat the day as any other if that’s what feels right to you. The important aspect is to take care of yourself and to share your plans and feelings with those closest to you.